If there’s one thing Toronto locals can relate to, it’s the challenging dating scene here in the big city. After a three-year dry spell without romance, I decided it was time to get back out there.
First stop, King West!
10:00 p.m. on a Saturday
It was a brisk Saturday evening, Ubers stopping and going; There was more traffic on the streets than usual.
We went from hoodies and ripped jeans on Spadina Avenue to city slickers with sleek black dresses, heels, birthday sashes and button-downs, contrasted with cross-armed hops on King West.
We chose Toronto’s Oldest Bar, also known as The Wheat Sheaf Tavern. When we walked in for ten bucks we were immediately hit with hot air and a sticky bar essence.
The live music increased the energy, but the crowded room left little room for movement. After finding a booth that was chased away by an angry couple, we opted for a spot closer to the exit.
Then “Mike” approached. He held out his beer and made a toast. We talked about the evening, the bar and where he was from. He invited my boyfriend and I to have a late night dinner with him, and although we declined, I gave him my number.
1 week later
After talking on the phone that week, I had a good feeling about Mike and agreed to go out. That Saturday I received a text message at 6pm announcing his arrival, with the strange request if I could bring him moisturizer.
Although I was confused, I agreed and brought him my poor dad’s Kiehl’s hand cream. Mike lathered so much onto his skin that he was covered in a white, sticky ball. I stared in confusion, “My skin gets dry after I take a bath.” This was definitely the first and very unusual date ritual I witnessed.
Mike drove us to our destination; Toby’s Pub and Eatery, a place on College Street – dimly lit and not too crowded for a Tuesday evening.
When the waiter arrived I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea and Mike decided to drink water. “That’s all?” She said yes!” said a confident Mike, “Isn’t H2O the best!” he beamed. I agreed; I mean, sure, I love water, but in a pub that’s all you order? I tried Don’t judge, inflation hasn’t been easy for anyone.
Our waiter came back and put down my iced tea and Mike’s tap water. He looked pleased and I stirred my drink. Mike seemed hurt that I chose alcohol. “Am I that terrible to be around?” he whined, “No, no!” I said. “But we’re in a bar, I thought one of us had to order a drink.”
As the night continued, karaoke was just beginning. The pub started to fill up and people went to the front to put their names on a karaoke list.
We watched them sing the usual stuff: “Sweet Home Alabama,” “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “Man I Feel Like A Woman,” and so on. Groups of friends sat at tables, eating chips and nachos and drinking pitchers of beer.
Mike was throbbing in his seat, vibrating like one of those energizer bunnies. His name was called. “Wish me luck,” he winked and ran to the microphone. I slid into my cabin to get a better view.
The beat of “Ice Ice Baby” started playing and he belted out the lyrics, stomping around the room and making his way down the hallway. “Wave your hands, people!” he shouted as if it were his concert. Mike stomped and hopped, shaking the ground with every step.
The look on his face showed that karaoke wasn’t for fun, but rather for business. He grabbed a customer’s water and poured it over his head, giving him even more energy. My jaw was on the floor.
His performance ended and we all clapped. “Water!” He called out, “Can I get some more water, please?” Mike was parched from his performance. The waiter nodded and I rolled my eyes. When she returned with the bill, it was placed in front of the soaked shirt miracle.
There was a long pause between Mike and I. Who should pay? After an agonizingly awkward silence, I put down a twenty and Mike took a final sip of ice water. My only drink was fifteen dollars. Jesus Christ, I thought to myself, Toronto has become really expensive.
This was a strange experience to say the least. Is meeting someone at a bar the right move? Should I buy my father a new hand cream?
I have to say, as bizarre as the experience was, I am grateful for the laughter, the story and the lesson. What place in the city do you like to meet people? The gym, the library, the museum, dating apps?
Maybe I need to expand my horizons and meet potential partners elsewhere. As for “Mike,” I have no plans for our paths to cross, but I wish him all the best in his musical endeavors.
Stay tuned for more dating adventures in Toronto!