Jilenne Gunther’s uncle noticed that her 91-year-old grandfather never seemed to have as much cash in his wallet as he should. Her uncle, a banker who had access to the money dye packs used to catch bank robbers, put one in her home’s wallet. When the money went missing, a trusted home care worker had the paint on her coat.
This experience inspired Ms. Gunther to dedicate her life to protecting seniors from financial fraud, and she is now Director of the BankSafe Initiative at AARP.
Americans over 70 have $53 trillion in wealth and are a prime target for scams. Their adult children are often the first to notice when something is wrong, but when older people become victims of misdeeds, family dynamics can make it difficult to change their behavior. Experts say it requires empathy, care and sometimes outside help.
It’s not just about money, Ms. Gunther added: Financial exploitation can cause anxiety, depression, a higher risk of heart attacks and even suicide.
Ms. Gunther said older adults may need the help of adult children and trusted friends to see their financial lives more clearly.
“There is a connection between age and financially insecure decisions,” Ms. Gunther said. “It follows this U-curve. Younger and older people are more prone to making mistakes.”
A series of dangers
One of the most insidious situations can be when someone trusts a relative who doesn’t have their best interests at heart. Or it could be as simple as an investment that’s not appropriate for the senior’s life stage, Ms. Gunther said.
“They know this is high risk but may not disclose it,” she said. “So it’s really important to really slow down and think about things.”
Cybercrime against older people is increasing rapidly. In 2024, the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Internet Crime Complaint Center received nearly 150,000 complaints about cyber-based fraud against people age 60 and older, resulting in losses of nearly $5 billion, according to the agency’s annual report. Victims lost an average of $83,000.
Scams can come from investment opportunities, scammers posing as tax officials, or an online romance.
If you hear something that sounds unusual, you might react immediately without thinking, but that would be a mistake, Ms. Gunther said. You want to lead with empathy.
“Come right out and say something like ‘You were cheated on’ or ‘That’s a terrible decision’ – those are things that don’t open up the conversation,” she said. “So before you dismiss your decision as risky or bad, it’s important to do your own research and also ask questions like: ‘What interests you about this investment? What do you hope to achieve?'”
Free tools can help you with your research. Any company that claims to be publicly traded in the United States should be listed in the Securities and Exchange Commission’s electronic data collection, analysis and retrieval system. A financial advisor’s employment history, registrations and regulatory actions are available in the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority’s free BrokerCheck tool. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau provides a searchable database of complaints about financial products and services. For businesses, the Better Business Bureau lists complaints and reviews.
Anyone who claims to have a professional license should check with the entity issuing that license to confirm that the person holds it.
When considering who should be included in a conversation about cheating, consider which family members regularly speak with the person in question.
“People can also use family trust in these situations,” Ms. Gunther said, adding that adult children who have had an open dialogue with their parents are better able to influence financial decisions.
Looking for red flags
In 2024, Rianka Dorsainvil’s mother came to her with a check that looked real. All she had to do was deposit the amount and then send a money order to a third party for a lower amount, and then she could keep the difference. This is a widespread check fraud.
“I thought, ‘Mom, this isn’t true. This isn’t real,'” said Ms. Dorsainvil, founder and senior wealth advisor at YGC Wealth. “These fraudsters are becoming more sophisticated in their tactics.”
People can now be scammed by clicking on a quiz on social media, signing up for a game or replying to a Facebook message that appears to be from a relative, she said.
Ms. Dorsainvil recommends paying attention to whether a loved one mentions something that seems too good to be true. Other warning signs include pressure to act quickly or guarantees of making money.
If you see something suspicious and want to speak to an elder in your life, Ms. Dorsainvil recommends bringing in a neutral third party so it doesn’t just look like your own judgment.
“What I tell my clients, especially when it comes to their parents, is: Blame me,” she said.
Ms. Dorsainvil recommended that you acknowledge what they have taught you about finances and then supplement what you have learned from financial experts and, if possible, pass it on to someone who can advise them.
“Be educational and don’t say, ‘I know more than you now,'” she said, “and I think they’ll appreciate that.”
Peter Lichtenberg, former director of the Department of Gerontology at Wayne State University in Detroit, said financial missteps could be a sign of a deeper problem.
“What we’ve found over the years in some of our focus groups is that about one in five people discover dementia in their parents because they’re losing money,” he said. Typically this happens by not remembering that you donated to a cause and sending money again, or by falling victim to phone scams.
Signs that dementia may be present include recent health problems that required hospitalization, increased falls, missed appointments, or repeating things such as: E.g. telling the same joke twice per hour.
This concern adds a second dimension of stigma to the equation, but Dr. Lichtenberg suggested a two-part process for approaching the conversation.
First, take stock of your family. How taboo was money? What data protection limits are there? How open is your relative to your opinion about his or her personal life?
Second, he said, “Maybe think of it as a series of conversations, because one of the mistakes people make is they think, OK, well, I’ll just show the person that they’re involved in a scam, and then logically they realize, ‘I guess I’ll have to give that up.’
“But of course that won’t happen,” he added. “And so you really are in a negotiation.”
Part of the negotiation, he said, is a deep understanding of why the situation might be important to the older person. Don’t blame or correct, but ask questions in a respectful manner.
“You have to keep those fears and anxieties in check and really take it one step at a time as you move forward in these conversations,” Dr. Lichtenberg. “Talk about what the FBI has found – that older adults are being targeted more and more.”
You can suggest that your loved one undergo a cognitive test as part of an annual health check. Make sure you work with a doctor who specializes in older people with dementia.
The illness could exacerbate the financial dangers, Ms. Gunther said.
“We see that people who are diagnosed with dementia lose half of their wealth in the years before diagnosis,” she said, adding that the cause is usually poor financial decisions or fraud.
How to protect your elders from fraud
You can prevent fraud with preventative conversations. Share data about the increase in fraud and ask if they need help protecting themselves. When you give them the leadership and independence, the path becomes easier.
Ask about protection account options. Some financial institutions offer transaction alerts, daily withdrawal limits, or checking for unusual transfers. Ask if your parents would add you as a trusted contact on their accounts so that their bank, credit union or investment firm can contact you if they suspect fraud.
Easy account monitoring. Discuss options like read-only access or subscribing to an account monitoring service like EverSafe, which alerts both account holders and a trusted contact to unusual activity.
Use the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline. At 877-908-3360, experts provide tips on avoiding scams, help identifying a possible scam, and support for victims. They are also open to helping family members who are concerned about an elder in their life.
Help them freeze their credit. To prevent new accounts from being opened in their name, your relatives can block their credit free of charge. Equifax, Experian and TransUnion offer this free service, which can be temporarily suspended if credit is legitimately needed.